SKIRTworking- How to Network Using SKIRT

(Sharing Knowledge Information and Resources Together)

By Michelle Alberda

As a financial planner, and specifically a small business owner, I learned early on that generating new business while spending as little time, effort and money as possible was a priority.  Using these same resources to enhance the client experience was my main goal.  I teamed up with two other like minded gals, Stacey Fleece (mortgage banker) and Michelle Balog (real estate agent), to create a referral dream team.  We have spent the last six years learning about business development, putting those ideas into action and teaching it to others.  Our personal mission is to help other professionals become successful.  For the next twelve months we hope to share a tip a month to help you build your business more easily!

The very first step is to help you shed your old ideas about networking.  Honestly, few women enjoy traditional networking.  Why is that?  We believe that those same characteristics that should make women great networkers, actually hinder us in the traditional networking situation because we frequently are afraid to inconvenience others, ask for help, appear pushy, seem like too much of a saleswoman and to put our needs before the needs of others.

You may know this scenario well.  You hear of a networking event and you feel as if you should go.  You pay for the ticket and put it in your calendar and don’t think about it.  The day eventually comes  and you try to think of multiple reasons why you can’t go.  You wish you had at least asked a friend.  You finally muster up your courage and actually go.  Everyone seems to know each other at the event and you don’t want to push into groups.  So you stand there and feel stupid, wishing you hadn’t gone.  Then, the event starts and they actually have a networking exercise!  Perfect.  You will get some cards after all!  You leave the event feeling ok because you were able to get a number of cards.  The next day you go back to the office and put those cards in your desk drawer never to be seen again.  The event ends up being a waste of money, a waste of time, and leaves you with a feeling of failure.

Well, it is time to change that mindset!  Stop networking and start SKIRTworking!  Let’s start from the beginning and reframe that story.

To begin with, why are you so nervous about networking?  Most likely you are making this about YOU.  Maybe you don’t feel smart enough, don’t feel that you have anything to contribute to the conversation or not dressed well enough?  In the future, make it about THEM.  This is what SKIRTworking is all about!  When you are preparing for the event, don’t think about the cards that you are going to get and the business you hope to generate, think about all of the fantastic and interesting people out there to form connections with!  Ask the people you meet about themselves and what they are trying to get out of the event.  If you find that you have a connection, ask them how you can help them build their business.  They should then want to reciprocate.  It is amazing how much easier meeting other people is when you are thinking about others and not yourself!

Secondly, it is not the number of cards you receive, it is about the quality of the connections that you develop at this event.  It is better to meet one person that you will make the effort to see again than get cards from 20 people that will end up in your drawer.  You have probably seen individuals “work the room” before.  They are thrusting cards into everyone’s hands assuming that someone will call them just because they have given them their number.  In my eleven years, I have never received business from this random technique.  I have, however, met people at events that I made a connection with and invited them to parties and events throughout the year.  The SKIRTworking mindset of building relationships will eventually turn into business.

Networking is about talking but SKIRTworking is about listening.  We all know that many people are more interested in talking than listening, so you only need to have a few questions prepared!  Easy examples include:  How did you hear about this event?  What do you do?  What are you hoping to get from this event?  Try it!  You will be thrilled at how easy it is and the person you approach will be as relieved as you are.

Networking can be costly- spending the time, the money and the effort and only leaving with business cards that won’t lead to any business.  SKIRTworking is about developing long term trusted relationships that will eventually lead to consistent business in your pipeline.  Also, note that keeping score is never a good idea.  Yes, it is important that you have a reciprocal referral highway, but note that some individuals are not as easy to refer.  Most people need a financial planner, not as many people have the use for an event planner.  Understand that by helping others, it will most likely come back to you, but maybe not directly from the person that you have helped.  This abundance mentality is definitely a SKIRTworking characteristic.

Networking is putting the pressure on yourself to generate business at that event.  That is a success that I have found rarely happens and others smell that attitude from a mile away.  A true SKIRTworker does not view each person she meets as a potential client, she is assessing whether that person has connections to the type of person she wants to do business with.  She is looking for an advocate whose clients need her services and most likely her clients/connections will need their service.  That is how a good business relationship is started.

Another ‘favorite’ of networkers is the dreaded “elevator speech”.  I have never been able to say  mine  and I have always felt that most of the ones I have heard are hokey.   When SKIRTworking, if you can speak concisely and passionately about what you do, people are more likely to want to work with you!  Few people can fake passion.  I have passion about what I do and want to work with others who have passion about what they do.  It means they are most likely on top in their industry as they are always striving to know more and be better.

Networking is about trying multiple tactics, throwing business generating ideas against the wall and seeing what sticks.  SKIRTworking is about digging deep and finding what works.  After several years of collecting data, I realized that my top 3 client acquisition strategies are 1.)  Client referrals  2.)  SKIRT referrals and 3.)  Website leads.  Therefore, I have stopped other activities and focus on the SKIRT referrals. The others are just passive strategies.   Networking is also about countless event and membership fees.  SKIRTworking is about showing up consistently to a well chosen group and being known as a trustworthy and consistent member of that organization.

Networking is transactional- making money now and not caring about the long term.  SKIRTworking is about building long term and mutually fruitful relationships.  It may also be that you are willing to lose business to do the right thing for a person which in the end only results in more and better business down the road.

Networking is the isolated business owner or service provider attending random events vs. SKIRTworking which is becoming a valued member of a community where you become known as a go-to girl or sounding board for others and they in turn will become that for you.

Now that you have an understanding of the difference between networking and SKIRTworking,  imagine yourself going into that networking event again.  Taking a deep breath and being excited about the potential long term relationships that you can develop.  Shed that outdated networking mentality and go out and work that SKIRT!

The dream team consists of Michelle Balog (a real estate agent with Vanguard Properties), Stacey Fleece (a mortgage broker with Met Life) and Michelle Alberda (a financial planner with a Fortune 300 company).  They are the co-authors of the Amazon.com bestselling book “SKIRTworking:  How to Network Using SKIRT” which is available at www.skirtworking.com.  They are also the co-founders of SKIRT Network  www.skirtnetwork.net.